One of the challenges of moving was leaving all of our friends. I've always struggled with making friends - I don't want to be vulnerable - and for whatever reason I'm convinced that everyone else has it all together, has all the friends they need, and couldn't care less about becoming my friend. This challenge has been magnified by working from home - even though I talk to people in meetings I crave the real interaction and connection with humans.
We visited another church on Sunday, and one of the women there invited me to attend a Spa Night she was having for Mary Kay. Although I'm pretty sure I have enough Mary Kay people in my life and I was literally sick to my stomach at the the thought of walking into the room and not knowing a single person....I decided to attend. It took me quite a while to get out the door, and then I hid in the car for a while, and once I finally got myself out of the car and into the building I slipped up the stairs rather than have to wait in line for the elevators, but I finally made it to the room....and I slipped into a chair.
After being paired up with 5 other woman we were sent around the room in a whirlwind of stations, lip balm, and suntan lotion. I talked with this one girl, Lindsey, throughout the entire evening and I really liked her. As the night came to a close I had to face my fears and talk to her about the fact that I'm dying for connection, friendship, relationships, love - but I was petrified. As I shuffled across the room to her and told her that I had been praying to meet a friend and I would love to get together with her if she was ever interested - I now know why guys don't ask out the girl they are crazy about! I was totally scared to talk to her. Well - she looked at me like a crazy person and who know if she will ever call of Facebook me - but I had to put myself out there. I had to try.
I'm praying for friendship and connection in my new life.
Rachel
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